[ There's no hesitation in the admission, although he does pause and raise a hand, idly tapping his chin with a curled finger. Thinking. ]
There is no end to me unless it all goes. The lifestream will see me reborn again and again so long as the star itself lives on in any form, and yet... [ There's something. Something he feels like he's missing. That, he isn't sure of, but, ] I admit that I did ask the one with my secret to be the one who ends me instead.
[ A strange admission. ]
I am uncertain as to why I would do such a thing. It seems unlikely that they would or even could.
It's a tragic state of affairs, and one that he should be far more alarmed by in theory. He fumbles with his shirt, casually moving to slip it back over his head.]
So you found your missing piece already. Good to know.
...
People aren't made to live forever. It's an existence that I think many people wish for, perhaps. In fear of loss and doubt of themselves. But few would understand what a life long lived can do to you.
[Musing, perhaps. He isn't going to get into the weeds of the reinvarnation cycle if Fandaniel has made up his mind about completely removing it as some last ditch hurrah for freedom. Clearly the god plan didn't work if he though this much was necessary.]
If you could die here and be free of your cycle, then. Would you give up your wish?
To die here... would not feel like an end, either. Do those who Father chews up truly die? Or are they burned forever within Sika Madu's fires? No. I would not wish for my missing piece to end my life here. Somewhere else. Somewhere with nowhere for me to return to.
But there is more to my wish than merely my own desire. It is also a promise I meant to keep, made long ago, to the very man who inspired such nihilism within me. I would usher his soul similarly into nothingness, wherever it may rest, either within the aetherial sea or reborn anew upon the star. Complicated, is it not? To be stretched between one ending and another like this.
Another, though I believe I have answered your original question rather thoroughly. If you care to know more, I suggest you heed those gossiping little nothings, for you will get little else from me.
[ He has no interest in delving into his old interpersonal relationships, thanks. ]
[Ah, that would do it. Whether love or dedication, attachment like that was the hardest part of letting any sort of idea go, no matter how maddening.]
Ahh, and here I thought I might finally be getting to know you a little.
[Shirt still in hand, he makes quick work of slipping it back up and over his head, adjusting the turtleneck to cover the seal that sits at his nape, adjusting the sleeves so nothing beyond the wrist is shown.]
The students only skirt the truth. I'd rather not entertain anything from them as gospel.
True enough, but what they chatter about isn't always so wrong.
[ An idea that cannot be let go. When it is all a man has left to cling to, doing anything less makes no sense. Ah, but he's seen Solomon's tattoos. His curiosity has been sated, for now. ]
I shall let you get back to your idle time-wasting, then. Do have a nice day~.
[ Or not. He'll offer a mocking little bow before taking his leave. ]
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[ At least the giggling trails off, but the smile remains. It isn't very comforting, but since when is it ever? ]
I am extremely familiar with that name, but if you want to know why, you'll have to use your question~.
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They do say the strangest things sometimes. What was it... something about an emperor? I can't remember.
[He assumes that was Fandaniel, anyway, unless one of the other male teachers has also gone crazy with failing all of the fake students.]
But no, there's no need. I know exactly what I want to ask you.
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[ He won't deny it. That was undoubtedly about him, but unless Solomon's question is about Xande, he sees little in how it matters. ]
Oh? No curiosity as to names? Very well. Let us hear what else you wish to ask.
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[And he might as well not drag it out too much, if Fandaniel is ready right this moment. So Solomon reaches down for his shirt as he asks:]
Should you receive a Beatitude successfully, what will be your wish?
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Oh, nothing more than what I have wished for thousands of years now. I will wipe out life across my star, once and for all.
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He falls carefully, carefully neutral at that.]
You would take everyone else with you, on your last attempt at life?
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[ There's no hesitation in the admission, although he does pause and raise a hand, idly tapping his chin with a curled finger. Thinking. ]
There is no end to me unless it all goes. The lifestream will see me reborn again and again so long as the star itself lives on in any form, and yet... [ There's something. Something he feels like he's missing. That, he isn't sure of, but, ] I admit that I did ask the one with my secret to be the one who ends me instead.
[ A strange admission. ]
I am uncertain as to why I would do such a thing. It seems unlikely that they would or even could.
no subject
It's a tragic state of affairs, and one that he should be far more alarmed by in theory. He fumbles with his shirt, casually moving to slip it back over his head.]
So you found your missing piece already. Good to know.
...
People aren't made to live forever. It's an existence that I think many people wish for, perhaps. In fear of loss and doubt of themselves. But few would understand what a life long lived can do to you.
[Musing, perhaps. He isn't going to get into the weeds of the reinvarnation cycle if Fandaniel has made up his mind about completely removing it as some last ditch hurrah for freedom. Clearly the god plan didn't work if he though this much was necessary.]
If you could die here and be free of your cycle, then. Would you give up your wish?
no subject
[ Or to, at least, suggest another wish. ]
To die here... would not feel like an end, either. Do those who Father chews up truly die? Or are they burned forever within Sika Madu's fires? No. I would not wish for my missing piece to end my life here. Somewhere else. Somewhere with nowhere for me to return to.
But there is more to my wish than merely my own desire. It is also a promise I meant to keep, made long ago, to the very man who inspired such nihilism within me. I would usher his soul similarly into nothingness, wherever it may rest, either within the aetherial sea or reborn anew upon the star. Complicated, is it not? To be stretched between one ending and another like this.
no subject
It's a bit beyond my understanding. But feelings do have a tendency to transcend time.
...
Is it a you from a previous life, or another soul entirely?
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[ He has no interest in delving into his old interpersonal relationships, thanks. ]
no subject
Ahh, and here I thought I might finally be getting to know you a little.
[Shirt still in hand, he makes quick work of slipping it back up and over his head, adjusting the turtleneck to cover the seal that sits at his nape, adjusting the sleeves so nothing beyond the wrist is shown.]
The students only skirt the truth. I'd rather not entertain anything from them as gospel.
no subject
[ An idea that cannot be let go. When it is all a man has left to cling to, doing anything less makes no sense. Ah, but he's seen Solomon's tattoos. His curiosity has been sated, for now. ]
I shall let you get back to your idle time-wasting, then. Do have a nice day~.
[ Or not. He'll offer a mocking little bow before taking his leave. ]